My MIL, nice lady, but driving me crazy! Ideas? (long)?

Oh honey I feel for you and she seems like a sweet lady. Maybe the best way to do it would be to appeal to her emotions. For example my MIL was a bit domineering and she came for a visit. My husband and I both worked full time and while we were at work she cleaned our house spotless, I thanked her and she said "well someones got to do it". It made me feel horrible and I started crying, the truth is she had no idea her demeanor hurt my feelings, and when she realized it she backed off. Tell your MIL that her disregard for your feelings and ideas hurts you. Tell her you will pick a godmother that you and your husband feel is the perfect fit for the baby, and that includes considering people other than her daughter. That is your baby and you have to do what you feel is right. If you give in on control of your child now, its over, she will control it forever! As far as vacation time and visits, my guess is she is trying to spend as much time with her son, your husband, as possible before he gets shipped out. And while that is all good and dandy, it cuts into your time with him before he ships out. You need to let her know that while you enjoy her visits, your husband and you would like to spend some quality time before he leaves. Well, thats about all i got, good luck to you and your husband and baby.